Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Good Evening, Gentlemen-To-Be

Ah, I see more of you have decided to stick around, very good to see this news, good indeed!

The first topic we'll cover on your way to being a gentleman--or, indeed, gentlewoman, as one of my readers has pointed out--is the way one would speak as a gentleman. This does not, of course, mean speaking in an English accent, though that certainly helps. Instead, it means that your words must have a certain flow to them.. Proper English, if you will, requires a slight bit of refinement you may not be accustomed to; worry not, for I shall lead you on the way.

For starters, do try to pronounce your words with more annunciation and refrain from using stereotypical urbanite language. Nobody with any taste wishes to hear about you being "dead-ass." As a matter of fact, refrain from trying to sound overly pompous, as if you try too hard you'll be revealed as a fake--the iron pyrite of a gold collection. Worthless. Instead, let your words flow freely, and speak with a higher intelligence. That vocabulary we all took in high school did have a point, it seems, and that is to make you more of a man.

Be polite. Be efficient. Bow to everyone you meet. A thesaurus is your friend.

In the next chapter, I will be covering clothing. Time to throw your raggy v-neck shirts away and show you the world of style.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Jolly Good!

As a gentleman of the Void, I find the expensive things in life rather meaningful! This, of course, means one needs a source of income, since a good feast costs plenty! But no worries on that part, I will teach you how to rupture your foes, scream at them whilst you feast upon their flesh, and stab them with the finest of built-in utensils.